I consider myself one big, fat contradiction.

I am a friendly person, I love meeting new people and I have no trouble talking to strangers regardless of their age or status in life. I'm not afraid of coming to a party and knowing only one person in there. I can manage to mingle with the crowd, thank you very much.

I have also experienced traveling abroad by myself and I learned to rely on my instincts and also the goodness of travelers that I've met on the way.

But as much as I would consider myself a confident guy, I've never, I repeat NEVER had the courage to ask a girl out. I realized that the more I am into a girl, the more I get nervous around her and I get tongue tied. It's an embarrassing thing and I've had it happen to me a couple of times. The four girls I've dated in the past where either long time friends of mine or were introduced to me by a friend. I hope to get over this problem because I'm already 25, I'm not getting any younger and I would love to settle down soon.

I think it is an self-esteem issue for me. My friend Deena would shake my head at me and laugh because she doesn't believe that I still am harboring insecurities with myself. Modesty aside, many people have commented me on my (ahem...) looks but I still feel really inadequate sometimes to the girls I am “in-like” with.

Why can't just we go back to the courtship styles of yesteryear? I think the idea of letter and paper writing sounds really romantic. Don't you think?

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Maybe she is here...

Maybe she's out there right now reading this blog of mine and laughing at my misfortune...

Or maybe she would understand what I am going through and maybe she wouldn't think I am strange after all...